Hi friends!  How is everyone doing?

Well not much has been happening around here lately……well ok…that’s not exactly true, lol.  There have been some pretty exciting things happening and some not so exciting things.  I don’t plan for this entry to be too long winded, but I can’t promise that won’t change mid way through.

So the last time I checked in, which was about two weeks ago, I finally hit my 100 mark.  And over the last couple of weeks, I’ve pretty much been maintaining that weight.  So today on 2-15 I still weigh 215 – and I’m still at that 100 mark.  Is it a bit frustrating that I’m not losing as fast as I was?  Sure!  But I know too that I was going to hit a point where I’d slow down…and I think maybe I’m at that point.  I’m happy with my progress so far though, don’t get me wrong.  But I still have a ways to go.  I calculated my BMI today and I’m still considered “obese” just not “morbidly obese.”  Well that’s better than the alternative, I guess.

One of the things I know I need to start doing is getting back to the gym.  Until recently, I hadn’t felt well enough to work out.  After I’d come home from work, I would just be exhausted, plus dealing with pain and nausea didn’t help the situation much.  Now that the pain is gone (thank you Lord!!!), I’m starting to feel SO much better.  Now if this stupid nausea would just go away, I’d feel on top of the world!  How do I know I need to get to the gym pronto?  Well the other day I flexed my arm to see my “muscle” and I felt my arm and it was all mushy!  lol  I don’t know how else to explain it.  Also, on Sunday I wore heels for the first time for church and by the time I got home, my legs were so weak and wobbly.  I realized that I am losing muscle and losing it rapidly – and it’s hard to get back.  So I think maybe next week I will start to get back into a workout routine.

Another issue I’ve been dealing with is sleep – or lack thereof.  My sleeping habits here lately have been way off the charts.  I think my body went through a withdrawal phase of not having any pain killers in my system (which made me sleep all of the time).  I was like a baby who had their days and nights mixed up.  I finally had had enough of not being able to get comfortable, or relaxed enough to fall asleep and stay asleep.  So I bought some stuff called Rapid Sleep PM.  Oh my word am I so glad I bought that stuff!!  I take it a half hour before I go to bed and I sleep so well all night long.  And I’m not groggy when I wake up.  So my body is slowly getting back into a “normal” routine.

But here are some cool things I’ve noticed that I can do now since I’ve lost 100 pounds.  The first thing that I can do is cross my legs – properly.  Now you may be thinking what is so neat about that?  Well it’s just the fact that I couldn’t do that prior to my surgery.  And now I can.  I actually am starting to feel like a real lady and not just a big blob of fat taking up space.  The other thing is that I can reach the middle of my back now – again just another weird thing I’ve noticed.  lol.  I think the biggest accomplishment I noticed was the day I went to try on clothes here recently.  I was wearing a size 22 pant and they were literally falling off of me.  So when I went to get some more pants for work, I went to Dress Barn (love love love that store!!!), I grabbed a 20 and an 18 size because I didn’t know what would fit.  I put the 18s on and I kinda did a double-take.  THEY were TOO BIG TOO!!!  Let me tell ya, the fact that I got into a size 16 jean and size 16 dress pant – I was ecstatic!!!!  I jumped three sizes in one month!!  It’s just more motivation to want to lose more.  Don’t worry – I’m not going to become overly obsessive about losing weight – I have a healthy goal weight in mind and I plan to get there…someday.

Here’s another cool thing that’s been happening.  I went to Wal-mart the other night to grab a few groceries (and to get out of the house).  I saw quite a few people who I knew, but I don’t think they recognized me.  So it’s kinda cool to know that my looks are changing and people aren’t recognizing me.  But at the same time, inside I’m like – it’s just me, lol.  Don’t you know who I am?  lol.  Anyway – it’s been fun to see the looks on people’s faces when they figure out who I am.

It’s also been neat getting the attention from guys.   However, I want to make one point VERY clear here.  Yes, the attention from men has been nice, it certainly DOES NOT bring me the happiness that I’m searching for LONG TERM.  I told a friend this other night – my losing weight has nothing to do with finding a guy except that I just want to be healthy for my future husband and kids.  The right man will love me for all of the right reasons – NOT because I’m skinn(ier) now and getting smaller.  More on love maybe in another post – too much going on right now.  But I am starting to look at myself differently – in a more positive light and also my confidence levels are going up.  So this whole weight loss journey is not only a physical process but a mental one at that.

I was reading today an article that said that people who are married and have weight loss surgery are at a higher risk for divorce.  Why?  Well because one partner who chooses to have the surgery gains not only a great body, but also a great sense of confidence and eventually falls out of love with their partner.  They want to see what’s out there with their new found life.  Honestly though, the thought of this just breaks my heart!  What happened to the sanctity of marriage?  What happened to the vows you said where it says in sickness and in health? Just because you have a new body doesn’t mean you should divorce your significant other to see what the world has to offer.  Your “world” is only more beautiful WITH your spouse in it!  Ok – I’ll get off my soapbox now, lol.  But if you go out there and do a search on “finding love after weight loss surgery”  there is some interesting data out there about this issue.  I will leave you to form your own opinion though.

So what kinds of things have I been eating lately?  Well I have now graduated to solid foods.  So I can eat just about anything I can tolerate within reason.  But here lately my body has been craving fruit – specifically oranges and pineapple.  I can easily eat four of those cuties in a day, lol.  But for breakfast I usually have a thing of SF pudding and an orange and maybe some milk.  Lunch consists of steak, typically.  Dinner is whatever – tonight I had made some homemade salsa and put it on top of some chicken with shredded cheese.  I’ve also been eating salad which I’ve missed, too.  Other than that, I haven’t ventured too far off because of my nausea issues.  I’m trying to keep my liquid intake up so that I can stay hydrated and haven’t been focusing too much lately on my protein intake.  I try to drink milk as much as possible so that I get my protein AND liquids in.  I have another appointment on March 9th – hopefully by then I will be *normal*.  lol.  And of course there’s my plethora of vitamins and supplements that I take – I swear sometimes those are meal in and of themselves…lol.

My dad asked me the other day if I’d do this all over again.  I said absolutely!  He said, “even after all of the problems you’ve had?”  I simply looked at him and said “No one ever said it would be easy.”  People let me tell ya, some think that having weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out.  They could never be more wrong.  It is difficult, there are days I want to quit, but the hard work pays off in the end.  I don’t regret my decision and nor will I ever regret my decision to have bariatric surgery.  I’m seeing the positive results of my decision.  Has it come with a high price?  You better believe it.  But my new life is turning out to be a good one and I’m not so sure that my life would have lasted much longer as the old me.  So it’s definitely worth it, in my opinion – pain and all.  I have a second chance at life – something I may not have gotten if I’d stayed at 315 (or more).  So I will gladly take the 215 on 2-15. And I’m gonna keep on losing too!

Well, that’s about all for now.  I have more to write, but I promised I’d keep this short – well I tried anyway, lol.  Thank you to everyone for your continuous love, support, and positive and encouraging comments.  Thank you for standing in my corner and cheering me on.  You all help keep me motivated!  So happy belated Valentine’s Day and know that I love you all and like I said on FB yesterday, my life is richly blessed because YOU are a part of it!  ❤

Goodnight everyone!

Until next time…