Hello friends!  Well Christmas is right around the corner!  I am not even close to being done with my (limited) shopping.  And depending on how I feel this evening, will determine whether or not I venture out to finish up or just go the gift card route.

Yesterday was my first day back to work.  And while it was good to see everyone again, I think I went back a bit too soon.  Whoo-wee!  I was miserable last night when I got home.  You don’t realize what your body really went through until you try to take on the world.  I know it’s been 7 weeks since my major major surgery and only two weeks since my other surgery, but two surgeries within 4 weeks of each other takes quite a toll on one’s body.  I am still pretty sore today, but thankfully I still have pain meds available and a three-day weekend ahead.

I tried steak for the first time the other nite and I am so glad my body tolerated it because I have missed steak SO much!  And it tasted so so so good too!  LOL.  I’m starting to eat a bit more, which is good – I had some green beans with my steak – yum!  But I have learned (and keep re-learning), that I cannot eat fast.  I know that I have to take at least 20 minutes (sometimes 30) to eat a meal.  I had an instance the other nite where I ate a bit too fast, and it wasn’t long after that that I started to get that watery feeling in my mouth as if I’m about to throw up.  I only threw up a little, but it was enough to say yo – slow down!

And in other milestones – I ate out at a restaurant for the first time a couple of days ago and to top it off – it was a fast food restaurant.  My mom and I went to Burger King and I asked to order just a piece of grilled chicken – no bun, no toppings, no value meal.  The kid just looked at me strange and just couldn’t grasp the concept.  My mom finally had to explain that I was on a special diet and that I couldn’t have that other stuff and I just wanted a piece of grilled chicken.  They finally got the order right and charged us $2.00 less instead of the full price for a sandwhich.  Once we got our meal, they also gave us an extra set of fries – of which I couldn’t eat – so mom got two orders of fries.  I did have to take some napkins and wipe the grease down off of the chicken, but it was good and I did not have any problems afterwards.  I also had 2.5 fries of which I made sure to get as much grease and salt off as I could before I ate them.   Again, no problems and it was nice to have something different for a change.

But here is what I noticed on my first time out in a restaurant – people eat way too fast and we really do live in a fast paced world.  One thing I’m learning in this whole experience is to slow down, realize what is important, and enjoy what this life has to offer.  The other thing I’ve noticed, is we have become so accustomed to ordering so-called “value meals” that offer little to no nutritional value and so when you want to order something small, healthy, and out of the norm, people look at you weird and have a hard time trying to process why you’re only ordering a piece of grilled chicken.  By the way – I won’t dare try ordering this “meal” in a drive-through.  I know it would only cause even more confusion, lol.  I did try another fast-food restaurant chain a couple of days later, and I pretty much got the same reaction.  It’s like we’re some kind of freak or something.  It’s fun though to be considered “out of the norm” and to watch people’s reactions.  But at the same time it gets a little frustrating because you do just want to “fit in” with society and go with the flow, so to speak.  So if you ever go out to eat with me, you have to have patience because I can’t scarf down a meal in five minutes.  I actually have to sit down and take my time to eat – and yes, I will look at my phone or a clock constantly to time myself.  I can’t wait to tackle a fancy sit-down restaurant, lol.  Stay tuned for that adventure.  😉

So where am I weight-wise?  Well, I have lost 25 pounds since surgery!  Yeah!  That’s a grand total of 82 pounds since March!  I’m only 18 pounds away from the 100 mark and oh what a day that will be!  lol  I’m starting to notice even more physical changes in me, some I like, some I don’t like – but knew I’d probably have those issues.  My wrists are definitely smaller, as are my feet and ankles.  My upper arms though are really flabby and that will probably be my problem area with excess skin.  I do have a small issue with excess skin in my neck area and in my opinion ages my face a bit, but I’m hoping that over time it will smooth out and look much better.  My stomach is not looking like a war zone so much anymore, lol.  All of my incisions are healing nicely (thanks to all of the protein I’m taking in daily).  I still can’t tell if I will have issues with excess skin in my stomach or not – it’s still too soon to tell.  I’m not so concerned about my stomach as I am my arms, lol.  Hopefully in January I can get back into a full work-out regime and get my arms looking decent.  Also, I have been going through clothes like crazy lately.  I buy one size and then a couple of weeks later, I need a smaller size.  I’m not complaining though – the shopping has been fun!  I did have to buy a 3(X) shirt the other day and that kind of bothered me.  It does something psychologically to you when you have to buy a size bigger after going the other direction.  But I know too, that not all clothes are made the same and that it’s only a matter of time until that shirt is too big too.  And for the record, I could have gotten the 2(X), but I was afraid it would shrink too much in the wash and I wouldn’t be able to wear it for the winter season.

Things otherwise have been going okay.  I finally gained some clarity and perspective on my recent break-up.  It’s such a blessing to have wonderful friends who will tell you the truth, be supportive, and love you through all of  life’s messes.  I was just glad to finally get some truth and unfortunately my instincts were correct and so I have begun the process of healing so that I can allow myself to love again.  I’m revising my list of what I want in a future mate though, lol.  I know that God has a plan for my life and that right now I’m in a molding phase.  So, I have decided that I’m just going to take the next few months and focus on what I set out on back in March and in the process also allow my heart to heal.  God has something better and bigger out there for me and I need to let go of the steering wheel and let Him do a work in me.  I know I need to re-focus my relationship with Him.   As for the other party involved, well he has a long road ahead of him and I can only wish him well and hope that he continues his path of recovery for him and him alone.  It’s the only true way to find freedom and peace and live a healthy life.

Well, that’s all I have for now.  I hope that each and every one of you have a wonderful Christmas!  Enjoy the time with your families and remember the true meaning of CHRISTmas!

Love to you and Merry Christmas!

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