“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” {2 Corinthians 5:17}

That was my theme verse that I posted on my very first entry on March 24, 2011.  I was just re-reading over my first post on here and I can’t believe how far I’ve come.  I’m down about 55 pounds (with about another 100 to go), I have a great man in my life, and I’m about to become that “new creation.”  And as someone pointed out to me today – in exactly 3.5 weeks it’s all going to be happening.  <insert a huge gasp here>  My surgery is scheduled for November 7!  I can’t believe it!  Seven months ago it felt like it was going to be an eternity before I’d have my surgery, and now it’s almost here.  I’ve been reading online and watching videos on youtube on the “after surgery” life and it became a bit overwhelming today.  I am trying to picture what my life is going to be like just five weeks from now.  Will I be down another 20-some pounds, just two weeks post-op?  Will it be more?  Will it be less?   What is my skin going to look like?  Am I going to lose my hair?  Can I handle drinking the barium that I have to drink in a couple of weeks?  Will I have any complications after surgery?  A multitude of questions keep going through my head.  But you know what, this is a journey – and not only have I been blessed with a great man in my life who is with me every step of the way, and a family who is supporting my decision to do this, but I have a God who is BIGGER than any of this and I KNOW will see me through this every step of the way.  It’s all in His hands, and what happens, happens.

But in the mean time, I simply ask for grace over the next few weeks.  I have found myself going through a lot of emotions and if I come off grumpy, stand-offish, or I may be mad – please know it has NOTHING to do with you.  Until you’ve walked this same journey – some people don’t really understand what an obese person goes through mentally with something like this.  Yes, part of me is a tad stressed with trying to get everything wrapped up for the year, planning and preparing those who will be taking over my roles at work and at church for a while, on top of working on a house and the other 500 things I do a week.  Don’t get me wrong – I have my good days too more often than not.  But on my bad days, please just love me through them.  I’m human still and I do have feelings/emotions just like the next person.  They’re just a little intensified right now as I try to process everything that’s about to happen.

I go for my pre-op testing on October 24th and they will do a chest x-ray, a pulminary function test, tons of bloodwork, an ultrasound on my gall bladder, and maybe one or two other things (sorry, can’t remember everything).  And then on October 25th, I will attend an all-day pre-op class.  Then all of the “fun” pre-op stuff begins to prepare my body for surgery on the 7th.  So it’s going to be a crazy next few weeks, but in about 4 weeks I’ll be able to look at the past, say good-bye to the old me, say hello to the me, and look forward to what God has in store for me – what was, what is, and what’s to come…..

Love to you all!

KLS – I love you dear!  I’m so glad God brought you into my life to walk beside me and love me the way that you do!

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